Trust in the Lord…

My faith is a major part of who I am. It strengthens me and has helped me through many trials. Nearly 17 years ago I was going through I very difficult divorce and questioning everything. At one point I was lying in bed praying and I heard in my mind the words to the scripture found in Proverbs chapter 3 verses 5 through 6:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

The words received in my mind weren’t exactly as they are written in the scripture, but they were very close and extremely meaningful to me. They impacted me so strongly that I got out of bed and wrote them down and stuck them to my mirror. About a week later I received a letter from a friend that included that scripture reference. I knew that the Lord was sending me a message that he would direct me and help me through my trials.

During that difficult time I truly didn’t think that anyone could understand exactly how I was feeling. My family and friends were very supportive and providing much help and comfort but I still felt sad nearly to the point of despair and very alone. I was talking to my Mom and telling her how I felt and she told me the Savior knew how I feel. I was reading the scriptures and had found a scripture in the Book of Mormon, in 2nd Nephi Chapter 9 verse 21:

And he cometh into the world that he may save all men if they will hearken unto his voice; for behold, he suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children, who belong to the family of Adam. (emphasis mine)

The part of the verse where it says, “he suffereth the pains of all men” struck me with a force that sunk deep into my heart. I realized that through the atonement that my Savior knew exactly how I felt. It wasn’t until that moment that I fully realized the power of the atonement was so much more than providing us the ability to repent and be ressurected. Those gifts in and of themselves are so incredibly amazing that I was stunned to realize that He could understand me like no one else could.

Later I was reading in the Book of Mormon in Alma chapter 7 verses 11 through 12:

And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

The verse in 2nd Nephi and the verses in Alma brought me so much comfort. To know that He knows my pains and He knows how to comfort me was a knowledge so reassuring and comforting that I finally felt the peace only He could provide. I knew He loved me and loves me to this day. I knew He would strengthen me when no one else could. That knowledge has helped me more than words can express. I am so grateful for the Lord my God who has saved me from death, hell, pain and provides His grace to help me do more than I can do on my own.

Finding faith is such a powerful force for good and is such a fulfilling form of self care. For me seeking after Christ is the basis of my self care. When I am showing love to myself by caring for my needs I am loving myself as He does. When my needs are met I can meet the needs of those within my circle of influence. I know seeking after truth and light blesses us and helps us to feel peace, love and hope. My greatest desire is that my children, posterity, family, friends and all those I come in contact with will feel the saving grace I have felt and that they can feel the joy the Savior provides us.